[Deborah S. Hildebrand]

What do you do when starting a new job and the first person you begin to form a friendship with decides to dish all the dirt about everyone else in the department? Without really even having a chance to get to know the other employees, this woman is explaining who to trust, who not to trust, and whatever else. Recommendations?

[jwalz]

Definitely don't tell her anything about yourselfe that you wouldn't want others to know about you! She obviously has not loyalties.

[Jodith]

Well, you certainly don't want to make an enemy of this person. I'd be very polite, but discreetly try to distance yourself from her whenever she starts this kind of behavior.

[Robin Holtson]

Tell her you're not comfortable having her tell you about people you will be working with. You're a professional who chooses to form her own opinion. You might also add, "I'm here to do a job, not gossip about my co-workers". She should get the message. If not, it's a friendship you might not want. And, tell her nothing personal about yourself, your family or previous employers.

[alburman]

Your new at the office, Keep occupied and excuse yourself politely when she’s around. It’s best to keep away from any unhealthy gossip.

[Amethyst]

Beware of this toxic person! Always have somewhere else to go or something vital to work on when she comes around. If you're at you desk and she comes to "perch" and gossip, immediately pick up the phone and say, "Excuse me, but I have to return a call". Call a friend, home, or anywhere that you can just start a professional sounding conversation as if you are checking on something from your boss. Turn away from her and grab a pen and begin to write. She should get the message fairly quickly and leave. If the phone call doesn't work, just state that you are very busy and you need to concentrate on your work. Break eye contact, start typing or writing, and ignore her completely.

If she approaches you in the breakroom, be blunt but polite and state, "I really don't want to hear or discuss this information. The personal lives of the other employees is not my concern." She will move on to others who will put up with her and I whole-heartedly agree - do not share any personal information with her or with anyone that you notice will talk to her for more than a few minutes. Good luck - A.