[KeriForsythe]

You’re the executive assistant to the company owner, and the two of you have developed a close relationship. Although you consider him a father figure – after all, he’s 30 years your senior – he’s been making some suggestive comments to you lately.

At first, you just shrugged it off and chalked it up to meaningless banter, but now it’s gotten out of hand. He has started probing you about your love life and commenting how he likes it when you wear short skirts. And, last week, he even touched your arm in a way that made you feel uncomfortable.

You’re torn. You want to report him to your HR department, but you’re scared that your job could be compromised. And, you need your job. You’ve been there 10 years, and they pay’s great. So, what would you do? Would you report your boss to HR and fear you’re bosses wrath? Or, would you simply try to ignore it and stay for the good pay?

Tell us how you would handle this dilemma!

[badgergirl]

Wow, that is tough. Is making small comment back like "it makes me uncomfortable when you say things like that" a possibility?

[iris91406]

Originally Posted by KeriForsythe

You’re the executive assistant to the company owner, and the two of you have developed a close relationship. Although you consider him a father figure – after all, he’s 30 years your senior – he’s been making some suggestive comments to you lately.

At first, you just shrugged it off and chalked it up to meaningless banter, but now it’s gotten out of hand. He has started probing you about your love life and commenting how he likes it when you wear short skirts. And, last week, he even touched your arm in a way that made you feel uncomfortable.

You’re torn. You want to report him to your HR department, but you’re scared that your job could be compromised. And, you need your job. You’ve been there 10 years, and they pay’s great. So, what would you do? Would you report your boss to HR and fear you’re bosses wrath? Or, would you simply try to ignore it and stay for the good pay?

Tell us how you would handle this dilemma!

Hi: I'm sorry you've been put in this situation. My best advice is forget the "father figure" deal. You are an Executive. You are a professional. You need to be respected as such.

I say be firm and do not continue to "shrugg off" his comments or actions. His comments or actions are serious violations of not just HR and company policies but of your personal comfort.

It will be uncomfortable for both of you to discuss but you need to be be strong. DOCUMENT the conversation in case he retaliates.

From personal experience, going to HR first, before you have this conversation will make things worst, especially because he's your boss. If he doesn't stop or things get worst, THEN definately go to HR. You may not be the first one he's done this to.

Good luck.

[Helen_nz2]

wow that defineatly is an uncomfortable situation to be in and it sounds like you need to set some boundaries. My advice is to pull away from the conversation whenever it starts to get personal to put your relationship back on to a proffessional level and see how he reacts.

[KeriForsythe]

These are great ideas. Just for clarification: this is an ENTIRELY hypothetical situation, and it's never happened to me. But, I do know someone that this did happen to years ago, and I was wondering what you guys thought she should do. But, thanks for the great comments!

[Amethyst]

If they have worked together for ten years, then she should feel comfortable being straight forward and down right blunt as to exactly what she will not put up with. I also agree that she should note the date, time, and detail the conversation on paper. I would not hesitate to go to HR if he persisted. This type of behavior can not be tolerated and shrugging it off or staying quiet to hope that it would just go away would only tell him that she's thinking about accepting his behavior because she has not put a stop to it.

[KeriForsythe]

Great advice! I agree that it's certainly a situation for HR. No matter how close these coworkers once were, sexual harassment is still sexual harassment. There's no way around that.

[tramsay]

Report him to HR

[shaubold]

She should make a comment such as, "Please note that last comment was not appropriate considering our professional relationship. I have also noted other comments you have made recently that have also made me feel uncomfortable. Please let's continue to maintain the respect that has be developed over the last 10 years. Otherwise I would feel compelled to share these situation with Jane Doe in HR." Chances are that as the Owner of the company, he would be embarrassed to have to have a sexual harrassment discussion with his HR Manager. Nevertheless, document everything.

[dewoun]

There has been some good advice given. My first thought is to advise the boss that his comments are unacceptable and that they make you uncomfortable. Then if the behavior continues, he should be reported to HR. This is similar to any reprimand that a manager would give an employee- first the 'verbal warning', you almost always receive a verbal warning so that you are made aware that the behavior is not accepted. If it persists, then go to HR with documentation of any events that may occur after the verbal was issued.

An alternative solution would be to seek other job opportunities within the company- in other departments.