[lmdavidsons@aol.com]

Good Evening Everyone!
My name is Lisa and I am currently working as an assistant property manager of a cooperative complex. I've been working with the company for 3.5 years. I do not get any benefits except a bonus at year end which is dicretional by the resident board members. The first year during my employment I was NEVER late or missed a day of work my second year the same thing. Upon the third year I became pregnant and worked until 3 days before I had my child. During those 9 months I may have been late a coupon of times and may have taken about 2 sick days. I work in a very small office and feel absolutely horrible when I do take a day off and on vacation my manager calls me constantly. I have about 10 years administrative experience and feel that I am ready for a more stable career considering I am a 26 year old single parent. I have a degree in Business Admin and am ready to move on with my life. How do I present the fact that I am ready to look for other opportunities to my manager without getting laid off? I need some professiional help as to how to go about this.

[Chrissy Scivicque]

Hi there - Well, first off I think it sounds like you've got your head on straight. You're not steaming mad and ready to storm out. You just recognize that this situation is no longer working for you. So, congratulations on that.

Now, your question about presenting the fact that you're ready to move on without getting laid off - that's a little tricky. It's always a question when you're job searching if you should tell your current boss what's going on. Personally, I don't know that this is always the right approach. It all depends on the relationship you have with your current employer. If you think they will respect your desire for professional growth, then by all means, share with them. If you think there's a chance that they'll just get ticked off and let you go on the spot, why bother? You don't have to. It's perfectly fine to ask prospective new employers not to call your current employer. You can get another job and then give your two week notice. People do it all the time and it's not considered unprofessional.

If you WANT to let them know and gain their support, I would suggest you just be honest and don't point fingers. Let them know that you feel that you've reached the ceiling where you currently are. Use the words you used here: you need a more stable career. As a single parent, it's time to move on. How can anyone argue with that? If they want to argue, they can offer you a new position, more money, or whatever. But if they can't do any of these things, they will have to simply say they'll be sad to see you go, but you have to do what you have to do.

You have experience and a degree - you can find a career you enjoy that meets your personal and professional needs. You don't have to settle for what you have (and it appears you know that). It also sounds like you're an awesome worker than any company would be happy to have. Approach the situation professionally and really weigh the pros and cons of sharing your job search with your current employer. If you decide to do it, just recognize that this job has worked well while you've had it. In the end, leaving a job you've had for 3 years is like a break up. It's painful for both parties, but if one side knows it's the right thing to do, the other will have to accept it.

[Patricia]

I also am a single mom and I remember the challenges of "needing" a job, but not always being happy in the one that I was in. My daughter is now grown and expecting her own baby so I made it through those early years.

I agree with Chrissy that it depends on the relationship you have with your current boss whether you would let them know you are wanting to make a move.