[SweetCarrie32]

I am currently organizing a joint retirement event for two retiring elected officials. In the course of notifying spouses, etc., I was informed that one was quite concerned about being "overshadowed" by the other, who is more well-known, etc. The more well-known of the two doesn't want anything to do with the event beyond attendance because he does not want to upset the other.
(Seperate events are not an option since there is no money, and techinically they are equal in power.)

This event is starting to give me a headache as I try to carefully keep things equal. How do I maneuver this without alienating everyone, saying the wrong thing to either, and not do something that will cost me my job?

(PS - One of the individuals retiring is my boss. The other is not directly my boss, though I must provide any assistance to this person as requested.)

Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.

Frustrated Assistant

[Robin Holtson]

Hi Carrie,
Retirement is an emotional time in one's life, and both people may be experiencing a sense of loss; no longer being "in the loop".

If this is a dinner party, it sounds as though the two families should be at seperate tables. If anyone is asked to speak (a general rule of thumb is there should be no more than three), make sure the speeches are kept short. If you are giving gifts, they need to be something personal, but have the same monetary value.

You have been put in a difficult position, however, your message shows that you are being sensitive to the needs of the individuals.

[SwtCrrie32]

Originally Posted by Robin Holtson

Hi Carrie,
Retirement is an emotional time in one's life, and both people may be experiencing a sense of loss; no longer being "in the loop".

If this is a dinner party, it sounds as though the two families should be at seperate tables. If anyone is asked to speak (a general rule of thumb is there should be no more than three), make sure the speeches are kept short. If you are giving gifts, they need to be something personal, but have the same monetary value.

You have been put in a difficult position, however, your message shows that you are being sensitive to the needs of the individuals.

Thank you for your words. I hadn't thought about the loss factor, because they both chose to not run again. However, they have both served for almost 2 decades each (one had children who weren't born yet and his youngest is in her third year of college).

It gives me a little more sympathy and understanding beyond what I had. Doesn't make it easier, but at least it gives me a reason for the behavior.

Carrie

[Robin Holtson]

Carrie,
I'm sure everything will turn out fine, after all it's a retirement PARTY!

[dewoun]

Each year my company hosts a retirement luncheon for our dearly departed (no pun intended. Families and friends (past co-workers) along with company personnel are invited. The agenda includes words from a family member and a co-worker or two followed by lunch. It is always a nice, heart felt event (we have had retirees cry tears of joy). I agree with Robin, definitely keep everything synonymous.