[jord0205]

My boss and I don't say much to each other. We are both to the point and aren't really big on carrying on a pointless conversation. So it doesn't come as a surprise that we don't really talk alot. If I were to say how our 'relationship' was, I'd agree it was nonexistent. I don't work directly with her, and I rarely have to talk to her about work (She doesn't know how to do most of my job)... How do I build this relationship with little or nothing to work with? She has the personality that can be intimidating and can come across as stand-offish at times.

I can be shy and not confident at times as well....

Any suggestions on helping this relationship????

[Patricia]

To me a good working relationship with my boss is what keeps me at an organization. I have been privileged to work with many wonderful bosses and we have had great working relationships. I have found what works for me is to be myself and to not be afraid of saying what I think. They have respected me for my opinion. That has helped my confidence, just knowing that they will listen to me and hear me out. I also have a sense of humour and like to use it when I can. I have found it helps to make a more happy working relationship and enviroment if we can laugh at ourselves and with each other. I also try to be as helpful as I can so they know that I am working on their behalf and they can trust me to get the job done. I would have a hard time if I didn't have a good working relationship with my boss and in fact when I go on an interview I interview them to see if they are someone I could work with.

I don't like to think I work 'for' someone, but I work 'with' them. We are a team. I think that is important in a working boss/assistant relationship. You and your boss are missing out on a great relationship if you are not communicating with each other. Maybe you need to be the one to reach out to her.

I have come to realize that if I am not confident in my own abilities, no one else will be either. I am shy too, but I don't let that stop me. Maybe it is my age, but I wish I had come out of my shell a lot sooner. I am enjoying myself much more and finally realized that with all my experience, I really do know what I am doing and I shouldn't try and hide that.

I recently accepted a new position and you can be sure I checked my new boss out to see if the fit was good and I have to say he passed with flying colours. Now to see if we work well together. That will be the real test.

I wish you all the best and hope that my ramblings have helped you in some way. I encourage you to read the articles on this site. They are well written and I find very helpful.

There are also some very good books written about difficult working relationships that might help you. Bob Wall has written a good book called "Working Relationships: The simple truth about getting along with friends and foes at work".

Take care,