[Lauren888]

I have a co-worker that gives me the once-over...a head to toe outfit check out every time I see her. Although I don't report to her, she is a 'higher-up'. Not since high school have I had such a blatent display of--well I don't know what she's doing but it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know if she does it to everyone, or if she even realizes she is doing it, but I wish she would stop.

Any advice on how to stop this rude behavior without causing a bigger dilemma?

Thanks.

[KeriForsythe]

Lauren, that's a really difficult question! My coworker and I were discussing your problem, and we think one way to handle this is to jokingly ask if you have something on your shirt. Basically, it's important to politely make it known that you're aware of what she's doing. How would everyone else handle this?

[dewoun]

I like that response. Frankly, if you are not having a conversation with her (and she is looking you up and down) and you are just passing each other in the hallway, I would just let it go. Some people are not aware of the kinds of facial expressions they make at any given time. So, I am gonna play devil's advocate and say that she doesn't realize she is being rude. Let it go!

[Chrissy Scivicque]

I think I agree with dewoun here. It almost sounds like it could be a tick or something that she doesn't know she's doing. Some people just have weird social quirks so I would try not to let it bother you. That said, if it does and you just can't get past it, Keri's suggestion is a great one.

[VJB]

I've done that before and one of my coworkers asked me why I just looked her up and down like that! We have a good relationship so we laughed it off, but that day, I truly didn't even realize I had done it.

I consider myself to be a stylish dresser and she is too, and so when I know I do it to her and others, it's coming from the standpoint of checking out how well someone's outfit & accessories are put together.

But then the other side of that is when I'm looking at someone and thinking, "what were you thinking about when you put all that together?" or "I can't believe you just messed up that whole outfit with those shoes!". LOL

I'm not trying to be snobbish by doing that... I just like coordination!

So I'm not sure which side you may fall on, but I hope you can take it as a compliment.

But seriously, I know she is a "higher-up", but if it's making you feel offended, you may want to just ask her one day if she realizes what she's doing. Or just be bold and ask her if she likes your outfit!

I once looked over at a co-worker when she came into the restroom and she reacted very negatively and asked "What are you looking at?"

I didn't have my glasses on so when I heard the door open I had to really look to see who it was and perhaps it looked like I was gawking, but I really wasn't. Don't assume, better to ask.

When this woman realized it was because I really couldn't see who it was and had to squint she understood and we laughed about it.

Patricia
Laughing All the Way to Work: A Survival Blog for Today's Administrative Assistant