[badgergirl]

Okay, so I have this co-worker. She is really nice (I am beliving) and means well (again I belive) but she doesn't seem to pay attention to anything that is not related to her and her own world and way of doing thigns. She seems to think that since she has been with the company longer than me (still its under a year) that she therefore knows more and can dump her c* on me. Her title is assistant so it is not like she is a director or a higher up person or there is no boss-employee thing going on. I am the receptionist but also unofficially my actual boss's assistant. This week things have come to a head. There is an annual conference next week for those in the offfice that are not accountants or assistants (except this co-worker) and so I get that things will be a little different this week but she without forethought took a later lunch (which pushes mine back an hour due to phone hours)and today has basically put blame on me for not telepathically knowing that a shipment needed to go out and then sat down and my computer to try to enter the shipment info. Please help me. I am feeling disrespected and my job responsibilities are being encrouched. I don't want to go to her while emotional but I need help to know how to deal with her at all.

[jord0205]

It seems that maybe you need to have a talk with your boss just so he/she is on the same page with you. If this person is doing parts of your job and making you feel inferior it might be best handled by letting her know that next time she needs to inform you of a package that needs to go out and then you will be able to take care of it. You could also calmly let her know that you would appreciate it if she was going to change her lunch hour that she should notify you in advance(and that you would be able to accommodate with her when necessary).

I have the same situation in my office and my boss knew about it before I started and she is more than willing to talk to said person if I feel I can't.

Honestly, if someone does something that you find disrespectful, the best way to deal with it is to let them know in a professional manner that it isn't appropriate. If you don't feel you can do that than you should talk to your boss.

I hope this helps.

[Kevin Cannella]

I believe you should tell her how she makes you feel, why she makes you feel that way, and what you would rather her actions be next time. Maybe mention that what she did today made you feel disrespected and a possible solution.

Mention that it may be beneficial if you two were more communicative.

I would also tell her you want to resolve this so the two of you can work better together.

I hope you resolve your problem.

[tlangley]

I completely agree with Kevin. You should always communicate the way you feel with your co-workers, and clearly this co-worker seems to have her head in the clouds. Much of the time, individuals that behave this way don't make it very far in their career. But the ones that do make a successful career are the ones that remain calm, patient and professional when dealing with these types of situations (among other things). Just remember that you're there to do a job, and it's not game of competition. Your superiors will see this in your work ethic, and in the end, you'll be the one to succeed. Keep your cool, keep your head up, and always take a stand - the only person that will predict your career path is YOU~
Good Luck!

[bluemoon8118]

Uggh, I hear that. My co-worker has marked her vacation days on my calendar through 2008(including all major holidays and long weekends), without checking with me. This means I am working holidays while she gets time off!

Some people are totally inconsiderate and oblivious to the effects of their actions. Its unfortunate that you work in such close proximity to this person, but I agree - I really think speaking with them about your concerns would be best.

Don't get me wrong - it may be a bit awkward confronting this person, (I mean lets face it - who likes to be told that they are acting inappropriately?) The best thing to do would be to gather your thoughts, calm yourself down and speak with her. Maybe take a coffee break (if you can?) to get the conversation out of your workspace. Stick to your convictions and be confident with what you have to say. Be prepared to hear some criticism too, she may see this as an invitation to tell you her frustrations as well.

I hope this goes well for you, and that you find a solution. Theres no reason you should be treated this way, and I hope your co-worker is receptive to your thoughts. Good luck - let us know how it turns out!

[badgergirl]

So things haven't really changed at all. It is hard to talk with my coworker because we are on different wave lengths in both thought and speech. But she has pretty much left me alone and not talked to me and last week we had to change the keys and alarm code to our office building and I was the one with the new code and the new keys. Lately I have been working closely to person that was this coworkers boss (before they transfered her to a different department)and my coworker is slowly learning not to mess with those working with this higher-up. Maybe things are looking up now.

[ADLEE]

Anyone who works with other women (no offense)is going to have to deal with this kind of crap. I have plenty of stories to tell, but let me address your issue instead.

It sounds like your coworkers is jealous of you and afraid you will be better than she is. She has probably reached the top most part of her career and the only option she has is to try to hold you back. The other posters were right when they said don't let it get to you. Do the best job you can and just roll your eyes when she does or says something to you. You're better than that!

You might also try complimenting her to try to make your life a little easier. I came on as an upper level executive assistant at my company and by-passed two other admin assistants who wanted my job. Yes, they were angry, and hurt that they were overlooked for the position. However, they have been here longer than me and know a little more about the company. I make sure to point that out in meetings and let them take the reigns whenever possible. They feel respected and they are no longer snobbish towards me. Compliments go a long way. (read, "how full is your bucket")