[Kimberly]

A former student employee has asked me for a letter of recommendation. She didn't work for me but she did work in my department. I am not comfortable giving her a recommendation simply because I don't think she did a good job. She rarely came in on time, she was grumpy, and most of her work had significant errors in it. But I have so much trouble saying "no" in situations like this. I'm looking for the right words to say "no" without hurting her feelings.

Help?

[Kevin Cannella]

I believe explaining to her that you do not feel comfortable and why is the best thing to do in this situation. You do not have to cream her, but honesty is always the best approach. She may now realize what effects doing poorly (as described above) may have on her long term. Opposed to this, if you do not tell her the real reasons she may never understand what she is doing wrong or how to fix herself.

Instead of saying no I would recommend saying "I do not feel comfortable because...".

Finding the easiest way to say no may be the most beneficial to you in terms of dealing with a person and awkwardness, but showing her the lasting consequences her actions may have may prove to be more beneficial to the situation as a whole and, in turn, humanity.

[Kevin Cannella]

Just my thoughts...

Hope they helped.

[Chrissy Scivicque]

Yes, I agree with Kevin. The thing is, a recommendation letter is essentially putting your name and reputation on the line for another person. Unless it's someone you know and have worked with for a long time (and have found their work to be excellent) you're putting yourself in a bad situation. I agree with Kevin because he mentioned that the individual may not be aware of her poor performance. I would say two things when you decline her request:

1) you were not her direct superior and you didn't even work in the same department. Perhaps you aren't the best individual to know her real strengths.

2) a recommendation letter is something that puts you and your reputation on the line for someone else. You don't feel confident that you have that established level of trust with her. It's not personal, it's a business decision. A letter of recommendation is not to be taken lightly. Perhaps she thinks it's just a formality. Explain that you only provide them in very specific circumstances, and unfortunately this isn't a situation that you feel would be appropriate.

Good luck...this is a stuff spot. I'm sure you'll phrase it well and there will be no hard feelings! As Kevin said, you probably don't have to go into too much detail about her past performance. But if you want to offer a little advice, it's a good opportunity to tell her your perceptions of her work style and ethic. Offer it in a positive, helpful manner and I'm sure she'll be thankful.

[Patricia]

Yes, I agree. You are doing her a favour if you tell her. She may not have been aware that her poor performance would have consequences. One of those being not getting a good reference letter. I also find when I give a reference my reputation is on the line. I want to make sure I can give the reference with a good conscience, knowing I wasn't holding out on the person I was referring them to.