[rstelze83]

I am seeking advice on how to deal with an unprofessional co-worker. I started about six months after she did, and at first we got along really well. We have similar senses of humor and common interests, but over time as we've both gained more responsibility I've realized our work ethics are entirely different. I like to accomplish as much as possible in as little time possible, and so often I forego the extended pleasantries & chit-chat so that I can stay focused and get things done. My co-worker doesn't like the fact that I'm not as chatty as before, and rather than respecting my desire to get my work done quickly (which I expressed) she constantly interrupts me to tell me pointless personal stories about what she watched on TV the night before, etc. I tried using common social cues to get the point across, such as finding reasons to get out of our office, keeping my back turned or my head buried in a pile of papers, and using headphones all day--rather than realizing I want to be left alone she waves her hand in front of my face or taps me on the shoulder to again interrupt me with irrelevent stories. If I tell her that I'm very busy and would like to be left to my tasks, she gets offended and confrontational, mumbling remakrs and making for a very unpleasant environment (we share a small office and sit within 6 feet of each other for 8 hours a day). On top of this, she leaves once a day to make "Starbucks runs" (really, as she's said, just an excuse to get out of the office), plays rock music out loud at an audible level (rather than use headphones), never turns her cell phone to silent, and makes personal phone calls in another language to foreign relatives--extremely distracting! She acts like she's so immportant because she's in a senior-level position (the only reason she's there is because the previous senior quit) yet complains non-stop about having to work, and half the time finds reasons to get out of it so I end up picking up the slack. The worst part is that I'm the only one that notices it because I sit next her all day--if the boss pops her head in, she's all of a sudden working hard--but as soon as the boss leaves it's right back to her old self. I'm at my wits end--what should I do?

[mike3381]

Well it sounds like you tried to talk to her about it so I think at this point if you can't deal with it anymore you have to either get a new job or talk to your boss. You could give talking to her about it one more solid chance and really express the issues you are having but it sounds like she is pretty self absorbed and it's doubtful she'll listen. Good luck, let us know how it goes.

[LisaOlsen]

Polar opposites in work ethic can be frustrating! Before you consider drastic action, I might suggest a few ideas. I would suggest inviting your co-worker to lunch. In a non-threatening environment, ask questions to get to know her a little better. From your post, it sounds like your communication wires are crossed. You describe some major professional image issues from her side, and as result, you are trying to isolate yourself and "send a message" that you don't want to be bothered. In theory, that's a good way to handle it, but in reality, the situation will only continue to fester if no honest communication about the situation is involved - and it sounds like you will need to open that up. At the lunch, I would suggest you broach the subject by saying, "Susie, I'm glad we have the opportunity to work together. I want to be successful in meeting the goals and objectives of the office and professionalism is important to me. Could we talk about a few ideas that might help?" Then, use that as an opportunity to discuss areas of concern making sure you don't make it one sided. Most likely ,there may be some things you can do to help her. The goal is to strive to help her see how her work habits are affecting the office as a whole.

Remember, it's your credibility at stake, so you want to focus on doing the right thing. I have found during my career as an assistant, that unprofessionalism doesn't get people very far. This co-worker is digging her own grave. I would also stop picking up the slack for her. You don't want to sabbotage her by any means, but it's important that the writing is seen on the wall.

She may also be unchallenged. Give her a project or task that requires her to stretch a little and be accountable to her boss on specific time lines and deadlines.

As a last resort, have some conversation with your boss about your concerns. Don't let this co-worker get the best of you due to her worst!! Continue to exercise professionalism and teamwork yourself. Be polite, and kill her with kindness and assertiveness. In the long run, YOU will be the one that stands out and gets recognized.

Good luck!

[Patricia]

Great advice Lisa. I was going to mention not taking up her slack as well. She needs to be accountable for her own work and if you do it, then you are only encouraging her to continue her behaviour because she knows you will help out.

I love to laugh at work, but I am also a hard worker. I find comic relief a great stress reliever, but you have to be careful that you are not taking up too much of your co-worker's time. This was a good reminder for me.