[BigAl01]

I got here by scouting around to find out how I can deal with a supervisor who hangs up folks for doing things that he does himself. If a staff member makes a mistake, we'll hear about it it for a week and it may even on our work evaluation. If the supervisor does anything close to the same thing, it is our misunderstanding or he's allowed because he's been with the company for 20 years and it's the first time its happend, etc.

I really love my job and I'm not a quitter, but I'm beyond tired of his antics. Several people think we just need to wait because he'll retire soon. I can't wait. I also can't have these evaluations dogging me. How can I professionally respond to his comments?

I have been in interviews where the question goes something like, "You're a supervisor and tasked with implementing a new policy that you yourself don't agree with, how do you do it?" He apparently hasn't heard this one, because when something new changes, he's talking to everybody (mostly subordinate to him) about it, "...we've never needed this before, I don't know why they're making us do it now." etc.

I'm REALLY trying to make this work.
HELP!!!!

[NEM]

Hi there -

Sorry about your situation at work... Unfortunately, even the best jobs have people that would try Mother Teresa's patience. The best advice I could give based on my experience, is to sit down and very consciously decide to be as nice and upbeat with this person as possible. Only voice positive things about them to other people (yes, really...). Then, when interacting with them, try to do as much as possible by email, asking her/him to outline the details of what they are looking for so you have it in writing.

Probably this still will not fix the situation, so when there is another "misunderstanding" try going to him/her and apologizing for the misunderstanding (yes, I know - you would rather choke the snot out of them at that time) and asking how you might have clarified things you didn't understand so that this doesn't happen again in the future. Bear in mind that it is VERY difficult to listen to someone that you have had issues with (that doesn't really do a great job in your mind anyways) hand out advice on what YOU could have done better. But - listen attentively and let them know you appreciate their input.

This accomplishes several things: 1) It makes them stop being so defensive, as usually supervisors who act this way are very insecure about their own performance / worth; 2) It makes them actually want to work with you, as they feel you are respecting them more than you had in the past.

The sad part to all of this is that you have to really put away your pride and coddle an insecure person. The upside is that usually no one likes to work with these people, and upper management typically notices your ability to control the situation, even if they don't tell you they do.

Best of luck to you -
NEM