Good Grief: How to Help a Grieving Coworker

A female coworker is grieving due to a recent loss of a loved one or has become depressed, moody or irritable as the result of a pending divorce. You want to help - or at least let her know you're available if she needs a shoulder to cry on, a kind word, or assistance with her workload.

Recent figures indicate that half of first-time marriages in the United States end in divorce. And, unfortunately, people lose loved ones every day. But, despite what your coworker may be going through, the best way to help her is by following these three key tips.

Give Your Coworker Time

Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Everyone's loss is different, so don't try to relate your past experiences to their current situation. You might feel you know what she is going through, but let her work through it at her own pace. Avoid offering advice or quick solutions, and especially refrain from using the old adage, "time heals all wounds."

Offer Support

During an emotional event, most people need to talk about it, which means they will likely turn to family and friends. Make yourself available if your coworker needs an extra set of ears to listen or an extra pair of hands to help out on a project. However, don't push yourself into the middle of her life. Let her pick and choose how she wants to share the details and deal with probing questions.

Once your coworker has opened up to you, the best way you can help her is to ask what she needs. Some people want to be left alone to grieve in private; others need someone to just listen. If you see an opportunity to help out, run an errand, or complete a task, let her know you will handle it for her.

Behave Naturally

There is no doubt that it will be difficult for your coworker to maintain a consistently positive outlook, and there will likely be times when unexpected emotions will overflow. While you shouldn't be "Little Miss Sunshine" in an effort to cajole your coworker to overcome her sense of loss quicker, you also don't want to take it to the opposite extreme.

In order for your coworker to work through her grief, behave as you normally would. Don't try to walk on eggshells - it only amplifies the situation. If happy hour or once-a-week lunches are the norm, be sure to invite her along.

Dealing with grief is a personal matter. We each handle it in our own way. If you have a coworker who is experiencing grief and you want to assist, remember these 10 "dos" and "don'ts":

Along with receiving emotional support, healing from a difficult situation will take time and patience. Don't expect a quick recovery, but know that whatever you can do to help your grieving coworker will be greatly appreciated.