Survivor's Remorse: Feeling Bad When You DON'T Get Laid Off

Your company is feeling the affect of the difficult economy and has begun to lay off part of the workforce. The first group was recently let go, and you're beginning to wonder when the next shoe will drop.

On the one hand, you're feeling guilty because you still have a job while others are desperately searching for work. On the other hand, each day that you enter your office, you fear it will be your last. And, to make it even more untenable, your boss has asked you to step up and take on more responsibility as the work of those who have left is delegated to those who remain behind.

Mix together these longer work hours, the unsettled work environment, and your own feelings of guilt and fear, and you're likely to find that you have a major dose of survivor's guilt.

Symptoms of Survivor's Guilt

First diagnosed in the '60s, survivor's guilt is the mental and emotional turmoil that people feel when a tragic event has taken others and left them behind. Events, such as combat, a natural disaster and the current, widespread job layoffs, may stir up a lot of different emotions in people. They may also create a sense of loss and a feeling that they don't deserve to be alive or employed, along with a fear that something else will go wrong.

People experiencing survivor's guilt are likely to encounter many problems, emotions and feelings, including:

• Sleeplessness
• Nightmares
• Paranoia
• Distrust
• Anxiety
• Fear
• Agitation
• Depression
• Helplessness
• Head- and-body aches

Each person reacts differently to traumatic events. Some close themselves off from those they love, preferring to ignore the symptoms, unwilling to discuss the tragic event, or finding no pleasure in previously enjoyable activities. Others will try to mask their pain with alcohol, drugs or other addictive behavior, such as smoking or overeating. Still, others will focus only on what happened and lose all sight of the other things in their lives.

Overcoming Survivor's Guilt

Overcoming the emotions that surround survivor's guilt can only be handled on a case-by-case basis. However, here are three things you might want to do to help yourself get through this difficult time:

1. Face the situation.

Acting like an ostrich with your head in the sand will not change what has happened. You may think it's better to not talk about the situation; however, the fact is that keeping your feelings bottled up inside can cause you more harm than good. If you don't want to talk to friends and family, consider accessing your company's Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Now is also the time to take care of the physical you. Be sure to get plenty of sleep and exercise.

2. Put your best face forward.

If one of your biggest fears is that you might be next, do something about it. That means working as hard as ever to make yourself indispensible. Don't give your boss any reason to think you're not pulling your weight. Otherwise, he or she just might decide to give your job to someone else.

3. Face the facts. Ambiguity is no fun.

Yes, you want to know what's going on at all times, but it just isn't going to happen that way. You're wisest move is to keep an updated resume ready and keep your eyes open for new opportunities outside, as well as inside, the organization. You never know what the changes may bring.

Change is a large part of the business world: good, bad or otherwise. That means you need to learn to be flexible and shift accordingly. It may not always be easy or painless, but just as organizations have the ability to change, so do you.