Time Machine: 10 Things I’d Tell My 23-Year-Old Self

Let me first say this: I love my life. I am very happy with my job, my personal life and who I am at this moment. I know that if I went back and changed the past, I wouldn't be where I am today and I honestly, wouldn't change a thing because of that. This post is written more as way of organizing the lessons learned from my past. It's not meant to be a negative, remorseful account of regret. But I did learn some hard lessons - ones that I think are worth sharing here. I normally don't post things quite this personal, but it's important to me and I hope others find something of value here.

When I was 23, I was the Assistant Manager of a very busy financial institution. I was young to be given such a position of authority (probably too young) but I ran with it and did the job for just over 4 years before experiencing severe professional burnout. Now, several years later, I can look back on the experience and see what really happened. I decided to solidify the many things I think I learned from my time in the bowels of Corporate America by writing them down. Thus, the following: a list of the 10 things I'd go back and tell my 23 year old self, if only I could find a time machine to get me there.

1. Take it seriously

I never really took my job that seriously when I was younger. I was more concerned with life. Work was always a secondary consideration. I was never that proud of my job. I lived (and still do live) in a very liberal part of liberal-California. I guess I thought everyone saw bankers as being "evil" in some way; a part of "Corporate America", which (at the time) seemed to be the enemy for people my age. Because of that, I think I tried to make "work" a concept that existed outside of the real me.

If I could go back, I'd take it seriously. I wouldn't be worried about what others thought (though now I know that I was probably the only one judging me). I'd put in some real intellectual effort (not just the hours). I'd do the real work - the organization, the planning - all the things that make a person successful. I'd do more than just "show up".

2. Be nice to people

Probably my biggest regret is that I was (on occasion) a pretty big bitch. I guess I had a big head, being young and in charge. I was really bad at handling customer complaints. I was even worse at handling employees. I was self consumed and yes, a little drunk with power. If I could go back, I'd probably give myself a good kick in the butt - just enough to knock me into reality.

3. Watch the temper

Again, I'm not too proud of my lack of patience. This is one thing I've really come to value in the past few years. Patience is such an amazing virtue - but very difficult for me. I'm a fast mover - an efficiency freak who loves to multi-task. I am not, by nature, patient. When I was younger, I let my temper go wild, showing my lack of patience to anyone and everyone, thinking it would somehow make the world move more at my pace. Now that I've learned to control it, I realize just how out of control it was. I wish I could tell the younger me to relax. Things don't have to be so dramatic. I'd teach myself to meditate.

4. Get rid of the ego

This goes back to the whole "being young and in charge" thing. I really thought I was something special. I was really just lucky. I had a big role to fill in management and I let it go to my head. I believed I was irreplaceable - that no one could do what I did! It's silly how we think when we're young. With a little perspective I see just how easily I could have been replaced.

5. Don't sacrifice accuracy for efficiency

As I mentioned before, I am a fast mover. I always have been. I've always had a difficult time with waiting. I used to bring this mentality to work, thinking it was productive - SUPER productive, in fact. Not true. If you're not careful, efficiency can mean sacrificing accuracy. There is a delicate balance between the two. It took a while to learn it, but now that I have, I see exactly where I went wrong in the past. I used to believe that getting things done quickly was the most important part of the process. Now I realize that getting things done right is SO MUCH MORE important!

6. Ask for help

My ego used to get in the way of asking for help. Now I realize how critical it is to be successful in life and work. You just can't go it alone! You need to build a team of people around you that support your efforts. Once you find that, asking for help is essential. It's so easy to get overwhelmed by stress. Letting others help carry the burden can make all the difference. They can help get you through the tough times. Then you don't find yourself feeling overwhelmed and alone. At least you know there are people willing to help, if you just stand up and ask for it.

7. Take care of yourself

I was just like every other young girl in America....I drank a little too much, I stayed out a little too late. The sad part is, I didn't even enjoy it that much! I just thought that's what everyone else was doing and I didn't want to be left out! I always had a cold or felt tired and rundown. If I had only taken care of myself, I think I would have handled the stress and heavy workload a lot better.

8. Set boundaries

I think I allowed myself to be overworked. I never really established my limits. I just kept saying "yes" because I thought I was supposed to. I didn't realize that I had the right to stand up and say, "no". Creating an appropriate work-life balance is important but it takes work. You have to set limits on your time and your capabilities. When we're young, we think we have limitless energy and that we're capable of anything. This kind of thinking got me overworked and overwhelmed.

9. Don't wait for others to make things better - do it yourself

When I was younger, I kept thinking that my boss, or his boss, should be doing something to make my job better. I never took responsibility to do it myself. Now I know that if you want something done, you have to speak up. People are busy. Take it upon yourself to make changes and improve your experience at work...don't wait for others.

10. Get a cat

If I could go back and find my past self, this is perhaps the most important thing I'd say: "Chrissy, you don't know it yet, but having a cat will change your life. Taking care of a sweet, cuddly little creature will make you understand the concept of being responsible for another living thing. It will make you love coming home at the end of a long work day. It will make you endlessly happy. It will fill your heart with warmth and love. Go get a kitty now! What are you waiting for?"

Ok. Anyone know where I can find a time machine??