The Work Spouse

So, your best friend at the office is a member of the opposite sex. He or she knows all about you, your family, how you like your coffee, and that you can't stand Denise in Payroll. When something goes down at work, you immediately rush to his or her office to commiserate over the events. If this sounds like your office relationship, you've got a work spouse. Careerbuilder posted a piece on CNN.com about this phenomenon that is leaving real husbands and wives, as well as entire workplaces, in a tizzy. While it certainly doesn't imply that you are doing anything morally wrong, you should tread lightly with this platonic camaraderie.

Work spouse is a term used to describe a co-worker (usually of the opposite sex) with whom one shares a special relationship, having bonds similar to those of marriage; such as special confidences, loyalties, shared jokes and experiences, and an unusual degree of honesty or openness. This person essentially fills the void of your real husband or wife in a platonic way simply because they understand the goings on of your job. While it's perfectly acceptable to engage in such a relationship, there are things to consider when respecting the boundaries of your real marriage:

• Would your husband or wife be upset if they saw the way you interact with your work spouse?
• Do you act this way with other co-workers or friends?
• Do you hide the fact that you're close with this co-worker?

Even if you're at-home partner tells you that he/she is completely ok with your relationship at work, you might want to add the following to your conversations:

• Complain just a little about your work buddy. Letting your wife or hubby know that your best pal at work isn't infallible will make them feel more comfortable.
• Invite them to work functions. Let your spouse get to know your favorite workmate.

Of course, your husband or wife isn't the only one that might find your work spouse relationship intrusive. Just as cliques are frowned upon in the workplace, two tightly knit people can be just as destructive. The rumor mill can be harsh as well. Even if nothing is going on between you and your office partner, people will talk. Here are some tips to make sure you're keeping it cool with your work partner:

• Make it clear that you have a significant other at home. Let others in the office know a little bit about your private life so that they know it is important to you.
• Take it down a notch. Even though this person is your best friend at work, you might want to settle down with the private meetings. Not only does it make imaginations run wild, but it isolates you from the rest of your fantastic workforce. Don't limit yourself.
• Make it a threesome. Oh stop! It's not like that. Invite another person into your inner circle so that he or she can dispel any rumors for the others in the office. Plus, 2 friends are always better than one.

Having a work spouse is definitely a sticky situation, but it can be pulled off. I actually had a work spouse that would never have turned into anything more. My fiancé even worked in the same department with me and my friend. There was no jealousy because he knew the guy and they were great friends too. However, if I had an issue, I would typically go to my best work buddy before I went to my fiancé. Not because I liked him better, but because he had a better understanding of what I was dealing with. It was a great relationship and he's still one my best friends. If done correctly with tact and discipline, a work spouse relationship can be a life saver. But, try to take others into consideration and make it comfortable for all.