Confessions of a Double-booker

To quote a brilliant modern-day lyricist, "Oops, I've done it again": I, Keri Forsythe, have double-booked. To my close friends and family, this revelation likely comes as no surprise - and may induce a few rolled eyes and snickers - but it's a problem, nonetheless. See, I told my friend, Kristin, I would go to dinner with her, forgetting about my plans to go over to Justine's house and make cookies. Solution: I'll do both. I'll go to an early dinner with Kristin, rush home, change, and head to Justine's house. Again, I have outsmarted the system, I think smugly.

Unfortunately, I don't factor in the possibility that Kristin's sirloin steak is undercooked. When she asks the waiter to take her dinner back, I attempt to remain calm. I try to avoid looking at my cell phone every five minutes, wishing that the clock would go back instead of move forward. Clearly, I muse, time is not on my side. When Kristin asks if I would like to split some dessert, I politely decline. "I'm just not in the mood for sweets," I assure her. After splitting the bill, I book it out of the restaurant and fly home, praying that no cops catch sight of my lead foot.

Then, something inside of me snaps. Maybe it's the fact that I'm always rushing, or maybe it's the fact that I've just passed up dessert (a blasphemy, if you ask me!), but I realize that something's got to change. I've spent so much of my life trying to please everyone else that I've neglected myself. Truth be told, I'm exhausted. So that's why 2009 is going to be a year of change for me. Instead of constantly hurrying from one social or work activity to the next, I'm going to relax. And, I'm going to learn the two-lettered word that might set me free: "No."

How to Stop Double-booking

Do you share my condition of chronic double-booking? Do you find that you constantly overextend yourself and agree to things that you don't actually want to do? If so, here are three easy ways to stop this problem in its tracks:

1. Invest in a Good Planner: As soon as you accept an invitation, write it down in your datebook. If you have more than one planner or frequently utilize an electronic calendar, then make note of your new obligation in all of your systems. That way, when another person asks you to do something else on that day, you'll be able to avoid double-booking.

2. Just Say "No": Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, and remember: You can't do everything. Repeat the following phrase: "I'm only one person." Personally, I struggle with this concept immensely, so I know how difficult saying "no" can be. After all, who wants to possibly hurt someone's feelings or disappoint them? However, occasionally saying "no" is necessary for maintaining our sanity. For tips on how to assert yourself with class, click here.

3. Schedule in Personal Time: We all need downtime. Whether that means going for a long walk or reading a good book, engaging in a little R&R is critical to our mental and physical health. Be sure to take time for yourself and explore your personal interests. Would you rather go to yoga than help your second-cousin-once-removed pick out a gift for her boyfriend? If so, then do it. Remember: A balanced life is one where you give and take.

So, are you a recovered double-booker? If so, please share how you broke the vicious cycle and came out on top.