The Big Deal about Mentors

You're always hearing about mentors and how important they are, but you wonder: Who are all these mentors and why in the world would I need one? This article explains the big deal about mentors.

What is a mentor?

Mentors are people who use their experience to help others achieve a certain level success. Your mentor should be someone you trust and respect.

By the nature of the relationship, mentors should:

• Have your best interest at heart.
• Listen to you about your goals, issues, and needs.
• Provide advice and guidance.
• Be willing to keep information confidential.

Matched mentors

When people think of mentors, they usually think of the matched kind. To get a matched mentor, you sign up for a mentor through a formal process, such as a program through your company or professional organization. Typically, you fill out a career questionnaire and you're paired with a person who has experience in the areas that you've expressed interest in.

Pros of matched mentors:

• You may be matched with someone who would otherwise be out of reach for you.
• You're usually guaranteed to get a mentor.
• Your mentor signed up, too, which means they want to form the mentor/mentee relationship.

Cons of matched mentors:

• There's usually a timeframe for the relationship. For instance, the program perimeters may dictate that your mentorship will last for six months, when one year may be what you really need.
• You could get stuck with someone who isn't a good match for you.
• Company-sponsored programs can inhibit openness in the relationship.

Formal mentors

Formal mentors enter the mentorship relationship because one party asked the other. Usually the less experienced person asks the more experienced person if he or she would be willing to mentor them. But, it can happen the other way around as well, especially when a senior person sees promise in a less experienced person and wants to show her the way.

You can find formal mentors anywhere-from inside your company, throughout your community, and even online. You can probably think of someone right now who you really admire and respect and think could teach you a lot. Your next step is to sit down with them and ask them to formally mentor you.

Pros of formal mentors:

• You handpick the person you would like to learn from.
• Together, you get to set the terms and limits of the relationship.

Cons of formal mentors:

• There is a lot of pre-work involved in finding and contacting potential mentors.
• It can be challenging to get the attention of would-be mentors and nail them down in an agreement. Sought-after people tend to be very busy!

Another way to get a formal mentor is to hire someone. These days, life coaches and professional mentors are all the rage, so there's less taboo around hiring someone to give you advice. You still get to choose who you would like for the job; you just pay them for it!

Informal mentors

Informal mentors are the people who give you advice and guidance, but you haven't made the mentorship official. Some common informal mentors are bosses, coaches, mangers, family friends and the like. Most of us have informal mentors; it's just that some people choose to ignore them completely. It's worth it to take a quick inventory of all the people who might be informally mentoring you right now!

Pros of informal mentors:

• You're free to pick and choose what advice you consider.
• These relationships tend to be more open and usually mean someone cares about your growth.

Cons of informal mentors:

• The advice offered by informal mentors is usually sporadic and casual.
• The advice can also be unsolicited, and, perhaps, unwelcome.
• There's no accountability in the mentoring relationship.
• If the informal mentor is your superior, you may feel pressure to heed his advice regardless of what you think of it.

Peer mentors

All too often we forget that our peers have a lot to offer us as well. If the relationship is approached professionally, peers can be a wealth of experience and knowledge. These almost always fall into the informal category.

Pros of peer mentors:

• You can easily relate to each other.
• You are able to be honest and open in most cases.

Cons of peer mentors:

• Peers can sometimes be too honest with each other.
• Peer relationships can get uncomfortable around certain common mentorship topics; e.g., two co-workers up for the same promotion.

Do you need a mentor?

Yes and no. Is it possible to succeed in business without a mentor? Yes. Is it easier to succeed in business with a mentor? Yes. The reason it's easier is that a mentor is there to help you, to provide guidance, and to open up her network for your benefit. This is an opportunity most of us shouldn't pass up.

What kind of mentor you choose is up to you. There's also no reason you can't have more than one mentor. In fact, I have a mentor from each of the categories above, and in a few of the categories I have more than one!

Now that you have a mentor, what's next?

Once you secure your mentor, the next step is building a thoughtful, mutually beneficial relationship. That's right; a mentorship is mutually beneficial. Trust me when I tell you that mentors get just as much, if not more, out of the relationship that the mentee.

The key to building a great mentorship relationship is to ask questions. Ask questions about how they got to where they are, what helped them succeed, why they do what they do, what they would change if they could go back in time, what advice they have for you in certain situations. The more questions you ask, the more you learn.

Inevitably, your mentor will start by asking you questions, and you should be prepared to answer them. Have a good idea of what your goals are and what you would like to get out of the mentorship.

Mentors can be unbelievably helpful for young professionals. Find the fit that's right for you and get learning. Mentors are a big deal.

Angela Marino is on a mission to help young professionals learn, grow, and succeed. At 27, she publishes Girl Meets Business, a professional development site for the up and coming.