Listening is More than Hearing

Choose the answer that bests describes how you spend your average work day:

A) 30% Writing, 45% Reading, 16% Talking, 9% Listening

B) 16% Writing, 9% Reading, 45% Talking, 30% Listening

C) 9% Writing, 16% Reading, 30% Talking, 45% Listening

For most business people, the correct answer to this question is "C". Listening not only takes up almost half of our work day, but it is a skill many of us take for granted. We all think we know how to listen, but the truth is listening is a lot like speaking: virtually everybody does it, though few people do it well.

To improve your listening skills you may find it helpful to think of some things that have influenced your listening habits in the past. Listed below are:

Ten Deterrents to Effective Listening

1. Assuming in advance that the subject is uninteresting and unimportant
2. Mentally criticizing the speaker's delivery
3. Getting overly excited when questioning or opposing an idea
4. Listening only for facts, wanting to skip details
5. Outlining everything in your notes
6. Pretending to be attentive
7. Permitting the speaker to be inaudible or incomplete
8. Avoiding technical messages
9. Overreacting to certain words and phrases
10. Withdrawing attention, daydreaming

The next time you are listening to a speaker, whether it's during a formal presentation or a casual conversation, hopefully you will be a more open and responsive listener because you are familiar with these deterrents.

Are They Really Listening?

So what makes people listen to you in a conversation? Is it your sparkling wit? Your words of infinite wisdom? Or is it your wide variety of interesting topics? It could be all of these things, or it could be none. Sometimes it's not so much what you say in a conversation as how you say it that gains or loses attention. The points listed below may help you the next time you find yourself struggling to keep the attention of your peers:

• Be concise. You can be brilliant, sparkling or animated, but if you "hog" the conversation, minds will wander. Speak briefly, making a few points at a time, then be ready to listen to others.

• Don't interrupt. Nothing is more of a turn-off than someone who has to be heard, no matter who gets cut off. Interrupting implies a lack of respect for others and annoys people, making them less likely to listen to you. If you wait your turn, it insinuates what you have to say is important enough to be said while everyone is listening.

• Leave things unsaid. You don't have to give every detail in a conversation. If you're telling a story, don't pepper it with "he said" and "she said." Your listeners will soon lose track of who said what.