No Shrinking Violets: Learn to Overcome Shyness

It's hard to get your ideas heard if you are afraid to speak up in business. But it can be hard to speak up in any situation if you are shy. The good news is that according to the Southeast Shyness Research Institute, only15 percent of us are born with "inhibited temperaments." Yet almost half of the population claims to be shy. That means that shyness is largely a learned behavior. And what can be learned, can also be un-learned.

Win an Oscar

Act like you aren't shy. Yep, that's what I said. Perception is reality so if you act confident, chances are people will perceive you as confident. You might be surprised how many celebrities describe themselves as painfully shy: Tom Hanks, Henry Fonda, Kevin Costner, and Carrie Underwood to name a few. Many claim to have found their confidence on stage.

While I am not suggesting that you join a theater group, you may find that the simple trick of acting will take you a long way. Walk into your next business function playing the role of someone who is not shy. Introduce yourself confidently - shoulders back, head high, firm handshake. Make eye contact and smile. This is the body language of a person who is not shy. You may be shaking inside, but your audience will never know.

Try Coffee Talk

We've all heard the famous line, "Talk amongst yourselves." Mike Meyer's character, unable to talk, would set up a topic of conversation for the group. Before your event, whether it is cocktails at a business conference or a staff meeting in your own office, prepare a few topics for conversation. They can be work-related or even a silly story you heard on the news. Ask if the others heard about yesterday's bank robber who mistakenly used a water gun or the unbelievable thing that ridiculous celebrity said on camera. Get the people around you talking about a topic you are familiar with and it will be easier for you to chime in. Even if you only start the conversation, you've still contributed. That's a great first step. And you didn't even need to be "verclempt."

Heeeere's Johnny

Both Johnny Carson and David Letterman claim to be painfully shy. Follow their lead by learning to be an interviewer. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. The real trick is in the fact that while you are asking questions, you are talking. You are leading the conversation without feeling like the focus is on you.

Go Public

Would you believe that Eleanor Roosevelt, the earliest First Lady to hold press conferences and be seen as a public figure, suffered from shyness? It is said that Mrs. Roosevelt overcame her shyness while learning to be a public speaker. Join Toastmasters or other groups designed to teach you how to get comfortable speaking in public. You may never have to hold a press conference at the White House, but the tips you learn will translate nicely into your everyday business life.