How to Move Past a Bad Decision

If part of your job includes making decisions, both big and small, you're bound to make a bad one sooner or later. It's often easy for us to dwell over each and every aspect of what went into making that decision and what we should have done differently. Our minds are so plagued by the "what ifs" that it's difficult to move on. Much like the grieving process, our minds have to go through certain steps in order to heal and push through to a healthier state.

Before we begin, I feel it's important to note that it takes a lot to make a decision: both guts and knowledge. Whether it turns out good or bad, it's an achievement just being able to do so (for more help with this process, read my article on How to Make a Decision). That being said, bad decisions are often made with few of those qualities. A bad decision is defined as one in which you override your senses and choose an option that, at some level, you know you should not. Of course, many of us have made decisions that we whole heartedly believed were right. They just turned out bad, despite our careful consideration. Either way, we all need help to overcome the feeling of defeat when something goes wrong.

In order to move past making a bad choice, it's important to understand common reasons why people make them. A popular blogger suggests the following as the most prolific reasons bad decisions are made:

Sunk cost

When weighing the options, the brain is overwhelmed by the time and effort already put into that decision or project. People feel it necessary to hang in there because they are already invested.

Egocentric

This doesn't suggest that you only think of yourself, it merely means that it's very difficult to place ourselves in the shoes of others to get a real depiction of how they may be affected by our decision.

Confirmation

In many cases, we make a decision based on data that confirms our preconceived notions. This is misleading in decision making.

Over-confidence

While you should always have a high opinion of yourself, it must also be a realistic one. Too many people are overzealous in their abilities and bite off more than they can chew, leading to wrong choices.

Conformity

Making decisions based on the opinions of everyone else will lead you nowhere. When it comes down to who made the decision, it's impossible to blame everyone but yourself.

Once you recognize repeated behaviors like the ones listed above, you can begin to change your decision making process.

Assuming that your decision has already been made and it has proven to be clearly an incorrect decision, you're likely filled with regret and looking to move past your faux pas. As mentioned before, making the wrong choice can be very psychologically engaging. There are feelings of embarrassment, trauma and grief. It hurts us to face the day with that thick cloud looming above. But there is hope. Follow these steps to regain your confidence and to kick back into full gear.

Patience

Dr. Phil suggests being patient with yourself. Give yourself time to react to your situation, but it's important not to give into irrational fear. Once you've made a bad decision it's easy to fall into the trap of never wanting to make another decision again. It's important to not let that get in your way.

Understand

You must understand that this too will pass. You won't feel like this forever. Eventually, you will recover from your mistakes. Start to prepare yourself mentally for getting right back on the horse.

Discuss

I don't think anyone can deny the power of getting if off of your chest. Talk with a loved one, co-worker or even your boss to help them understand how it's weighing on you and the office. It will help you to know that the people affected by your decision aren't holding it against you.

Reminders

You've got to stop beating yourself up. It's important to remind yourself of all the positive things you've done. This one bad decision is just that: one. You've done plenty of other great things and you should always reinforce that in your brain. If it helps, write a list of the things you're proud of and post it on your desk for you to look at often.

Small steps

Get yourself back into the swing of things by making small decisions, while focusing on the fact that you refuse to be indecisive.

Try again

I already mentioned jumping back on the horse and now is the time to do it. You have to realize that good or bad, decision making is part of your job and your life. Everyone makes mistakes and you're no exception. It's time to try again. Use the tools in the article "How to Make a Decision" to ease you into the process and help you come to a well thought out solution.

As humans, our egos are easily shattered. It's important not to dwell as there are plenty of great decisions to be made in our lifetimes. Give yourself the time you need to move past the grief you may be feeling, but don't get stuck in a pit of disparity. Be patient and understanding with your psyche and when you're ready, give it another try.