The Dark Side of Technology: When E-mail Goes Horribly Wrong"So, I hear you met up for drinks with one of my employees. I'm sure you had a good time..."
When I first glanced at the e-mail, I almost overlooked it. But, there they were: three little dots glaring right back at me. Trying to make sense of the sentence, I brought my coworkers over to my cubicle to analyze the situation. Was this woman accusing me of having a less-than-platonic relationship with her employee? Did the ellipsis signify that she was restraining herself from passing judgment? According to my friends, absolutely.
Some people view the ellipsis as a way of simply trailing off their thought process; others, such as me, regard it with much more meaning. Personally, I've always been suspicious of the ellipsis. Although I've admittedly used it in some articles and e-mails, this punctuation seems slightly passive-aggressive to me. Is the ellipsis-user purposely omitting certain information to protect the receiver? Is there hidden meaning behind the "..."?
Whether or not this woman meant anything by the ellipsis is irrelevant. The point is that based upon this seemingly harmless form of written speech, I ascribed new meaning to the e-mail. In fact, the ellipsis threw me off so much that I actually disregarded the rest of the message. All I noticed were the three little dots that insinuated everything without actually saying anything.
Although e-mail is a wonderful way to quickly transmit information, it can quickly turn disastrous if the receiver misconstrues its message. That's why it's important to be fully cognizant of the messages that you're sending. After all, just because you don't have hidden intentions, it doesn't mean that the person on the receiving end knows that. To ensure that your e-mails don't get lost in translation, adhere to these three rules:
Some subjects are inherently e-mail-friendly. For instance, if you need to lay out a step-by-step process or provide instructions about an assignment, e-mail is the go-to method. But, if your subject falls into murkier territory - i.e., messages dealing with extremely personal matters - it's important to use caution.
Put yourself in the receiver's shoes and question whether you would want someone to broach the situation with you via e-mail. If not, call the individual or discuss the subject in person. That way, he or she can hear the inflection in your voice and/or read your body language.
Before you hit the "Send" button, carefully assess the message. If there's any way that the receiver could misinterpret your message, refrain from sending it. Another option: Ask a neutral party to read over the e-mail and analyze its content. After all, if this person thinks that the message could be misconstrued, then someone who is emotionally invested in the situation will certainly misinterpret it.
Sure, they're cute and seemingly lighthearted. However, emoticons and "all caps" can go horribly wrong if they're misplaced. Case in point: When e-mailing my friend recently, I accidently punctuated the end of a sentence with a frown face instead of a smiley one. No big deal, right? Well, that one, misplaced emoticon completely altered the meaning of the message and conveyed that I was mad at her. After sending her two unanswered e-mails, I realized the error of my ways.
Are you more likely to confront someone via e-mail or face-to-face conversation? Do you think people often hide behind e-mail to express their true feelings? Please share your thoughts about this subject with the OfficeArrow community.