Which Comes First: the Family or the Job?

If you are a working mother, father or grandparent, you may relate to the conversation I had with my child: I asked my 9-year-old son what a working parent was. He said, "Tired." He is absolutely right. We are tired. Each day becomes a tug of war between what the job needs, what the kids or grandkids need, and what you may need for yourself to survive this crazy life. Separate, distinct worlds need separate, distinct strategies to achieve a work/life balance that works for you.

Work strategies:

• Get organized and have your desk ready for the next business day every night before going home. Unfinished business has a way of lingering on. Close out as much as you can before you leave.
• Have a career path, and make sure your boss knows what it is. They can't help you get you where you're going if they have no idea where it is.
• Maintain a running dialog with your boss. Working parents and grandparents may have special circumstances that require accommodations. Keep your boss informed, so if a situation arises, it can be handled swiftly.

Home strategies:

• When you leave work, leave it. Don't spend the entire car ride home tying up loose ends from work; use the time to refocus. Play music that relaxes you and helps you transition from a worker to a parent.
• Try not to bring work home with you so you can focus your attention on the kids. If you do have to bring work home, do your homework while they are doing theirs. When they are done, you must be done, no matter what.
• Working 45+ hours a week doesn't afford much time for household duties, so do at least one chore each night. Then, when the weekend comes, you can do something fun with the kids without feeling guilty for not getting anything accomplished.
• Find at least one thing in your day to laugh about. Opening up your lunch and finding Pop Rocks candy from your kid can remind you why you jumped on this merry-go-round in the first place.

Perhaps the single most important lesson I've learned about being a working parent is this: I am a much better parent, a much happier parent, because I work. No matter how well you think you are juggling your work/life balance, know that there will always be surprises. Having a flexible, positive attitude and a strong family and friend network is incredibly valuable. Be willing to explore other options when things get difficult, and most importantly, know in your heart that you are doing the best you can for your family because you love them.

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