Creating a Communication System with Your Boss

I had an interesting request from a reader the other day: "Kathleen" said her boss had expressed that he was unhappy with their partnership and that he wanted her to create some kind of "communication system" to help them build a stronger connection.

Well, Kathleen was perplexed! She had felt things were going just fine! "What the heck is a communication system," she wanted to know, "and where do I get one??"

I gave her a minimal amount of advice and then told her I would take some time to think about it and post an article on the topic. As I've said before, the solution to one person's problem will likely help many.I first told her that she needed specifics. In a case such as this, when a certain level of dissatisfaction has been expressed, it's important to get to the root of the problem. What has happened that makes her boss feel disconnected from her? What does an ideal partnership look like for him? Can he cite some specific instances when things haven't gone as he would have liked? What does he want to accomplish by having a "communication system"?

From the words he used - Communication System - it's probably a fair guess that he feels two things: a lack of communication and a lack of organization. These are probably two of the most critical components of a successful EA/Executive relationship. In an attempt to gain a feeling of control, he's asked his EA to set forth specific guidelines for their communication - a winning idea, in my opinion. She now has a huge opportunity to create a standard for how she'd like to work with him.A few things came to mind for me when I first heard this. One: my boss and I often have communication breakdowns. It's one of those things we've both come to realize and so, when it happens, we sit down and try to turn the "breakdown" into a "breakthrough". What I mean by this is, we figure out what happened and what we are going to do to make sure that particular breakdown never happens again. For example, I realized that when he is out of town, I was never quite sure what he was doing. Therefore, I never felt confident to call (for fear of interrupting him). I would let things pile up and then bombard him when he got back. Not a good way to go. So, the "breakthrough" came when we established a "system" of daily phone call check-ins. Each morning, even when he's traveling, we check-in (via phone if necessary). We tell each other our agendas for the day and he lets me know when (and for what) I can interrupt him. It works beautifully.Another reader responded to Kathleen's problem by adding that a daily e-mail wrap-up at the end of the day would help as well. That way, she can clearly lay out for him what she accomplished, what she needs assistance on, and just generally what has been happening. It may seem like overkill to some of you, but for relationships in turmoil, there is no such thing as too much communication!

I would also stress the importance of weekly "State of the Union" Meetings. I've talked about this idea in the past and, typically a monthly meeting is fine. But again, when the relationship is rocky, too much communication is not a concern. The State of the Union Meeting is a scheduled appointment between the EA and the executive. This is a time to sit down and focus solely on the partnership between them. They can each say how they feel things are going, express praise for what worked well and suggest solutions for what didn't. It helps to keep a small list of things you'd like to talk about in the meeting throughout the week. That way, you have specifics to illustrate your points. This meeting can really help get the relationship back on track because it opens communication and provides specific time for brainstorming together and just improving the state of affairs for everyone.So, to wrap it up, I would suggest the following "Communication System" for Kathleen and her boss:

1. Conversation to take place detailing exact circumstances for the request

2. Daily check-in conversations to take place each morning - in person or via phone if traveling

3. Daily e-mail wrap-ups to be sent at the end of each day

4. Weekly "State of the Union" Meetings to take place with a scheduled appointmentGood luck, Kathleen! We're all cheering you on!

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