Dealing with a Grumpy Boss

When I tell people that I am an Executive Assistant, they usually think that means I get bullied by an overbearing boss. While this isn't entirely true, there are days that I feel like my job description should include something about dealing with grumpy executives. It just happens, I guess. People who are in the upper ranks of a business usually have to work pretty hard to get there. They have a lot on their plates. I get it. But hey - I'm busy too. I work hard too!

It's not what I would consider "fun" to deal with a superior who is in a bad mood. However, there are a few things I've learned that can help minimize how their bad moods impact the rest of us.

Remember, it isn't about you

I tend to take most things personally, which is not good. In business, you have to remember that it's not about you. If your boss is in storming around about something, 9 times out of 10 it's something that is completely out of your control. They most likely are not mad about something you did or didn't do. You might just be the closest person around when they get bad news. Or, you might be the person they trust most to complain to. Maybe they just need to vent and you can provide a friendly ear to listen.

Ok, sometimes it's about you

I don't want to brush over the fact that there will be times when boss grumpiness stems from something you can control - something you've done or haven't done. These are the times to step up and face the situation. Apologize and do what you can to make it right. Repair the situation as best you can. The important thing is to remember that mistakes happen. Things can't go smoothly all the time. And when problems arise and emotions run high, it doesn't mean you're a bad person and your boss hates you. It's not personal - it's business.

Manage your emotions

When a superior directs a bad mood your way, do your best to avoid getting angry, frustrated or upset. Take a deep breath and do whatever it takes to maintain control. Because I'm sensitive, I've really had to learn how to prevent the immediate urge I have to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out at the first sign of boss grumpiness. And hey, I'll admit it: I've had to go hide in the bathroom on occasion. I've had my private breakdowns and tearful phone calls to Mr. Toolbox. But I've always walked back into the office with my head held high. I think, for me, it's a long process of learning how to deal with my emotions at work. One day at a time...

Don't be a victim

Remember that you are not powerless. A grumpy boss does not have the right to take it out on you just because you're the assistant. Keep your backbone firm and straight - don't be afraid of standing up for yourself. And don't let someone else's mood impact yours. When I first started my job, I always felt that how my day went depended 100% on how my boss's day went. Finally, I came to a point where I just had to say, "No. My day should not be ruled completely by someone else. I don't have control over his emotions. But I do have control over mine."

All in all, I'd say the most important thing I've learned is to keep it professional. If you work with a superior who is a grump, it's not your problem. Don't let it create unnecessary issues for you. Negativity can be highly contagious - build a strong defense.

I'd love to hear some other thoughts on this. Do you work with a grump? How do you keep it from bringing you down??