Overcoming Intimidation

A friend of mine recently got promoted to Executive Assistant at a large corporation. She is assisting the CEO, which is a real achievement to be proud of. She said something interesting though when considering whether or not to take the new position. She said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "It's a little intimidating because if I screw up, I'm screwing up with the boss!"

This is the unique position of an Executive Assistant - you're in direct contact with the head honcho each and every day. It can be scary to say the least. It's not like a typical job where "the boss" may be in an entirely different building or even across the country. Being an EA, you're directly in the line of fire. It's a big responsibility and it's true what my friend said, if you mess up, the top executive will most likely not only be aware, but they'll probably be impacted by your mistake. Talk about intimidation!

I think this is what makes the Executive Assistant position so difficult, but also uniquely rewarding. You have the opportunity to learn directly from the top leader(s) in your company. You have access to insight that no one else has the privilege of seeing. And yes, it's true that mistakes are bound to happen and when they do, this leader you so admire and respect (and want to impress!) will be all too aware of your fumble. Such is the nature of the position.

Even when everything goes smoothly, working with a top executive can still be very intimidating. They have the reputation, the connections, the experience....it can all be a little overwhelming. If you really sat down and looked at your boss's resume, you'd probably be completely awestruck.

So, how does one deal with the intimidation factor?

Ooze Confidence

Confidence is the strongest antidote to intimidation. Build your self-esteem and learn to keep a cool head under pressure. People in positions of authority are often tempted to pounce on flustered, fearful subordinates. Not because these leaders are mean or wish to intentionally take advantage of weaker people. In my opinion, it happens because they are usually Type A personalities - driven and focused. They're not worried about hurting someone's feelings. They just want to get the job done.

When working with a very ambitious, motivated executive, it helps to create an image of strength. Whether or not you really feel it, project confidence and before you know it, confidence will come.

The key is: show no fear. Even if you feel incredibly intimidated, don't let it show. Keep a straight face or, even better, crack a joke.

Build a Rock Hard Shell

If you're like me, it may take a while to build an effective shield. Admittedly, I can be a little overly sensitive. When I'm stressed or feeling emotional, the wrong tone of voice can cut deep, especially coming from my boss. I've grown a thicker skin over the last year but I'm still working on building my shell - I think I'll always have to work at it (at least a little).

What I've learned is this: don't take it all so personally. Remember that it isn't all about you. In fact, it's probably not about you at all. Keep things professional. Let intimidating situations just roll off your back without seeping in and filling you with anxiety. Don't let strong words or a stressed out tone of voice make you feel intimidated.

Become a Sales Person

Another key I've found to overcoming intimidation is to focus on building up your sales skills. It sounds strange, but selling is all about perception and building an image of authority. Honing your sales skills will inevitably make you better at selling yourself. Sales techniques can help you learn how to effectively negotiate, address difficult issues, build a respected reputation, and be exceptionally persuasive. All of these tools will not only help you overcome intimidation, they will also help you become a valued member of the executive support team.

Respect Yourself

No matter what, don't let intimidation push you into doing something you don't want to do. And don't allow yourself to get walked on, taken advantage of, or put down simply because the person doing it is "big shot". Always respect yourself enough to stand up and object. You have the right to feel comfortable in the workplace - this doesn't mean you won't have moments of stress or anxiety when the boss walks in. But you also shouldn't have to feel on edge or afraid of interacting with them. Be proud of who you are and what you do. The rest will come with a little practice.