The Relationship Between Executive and Assistant

Remember the movie, "Devil Wears Prada"? Believe it or not, I used to think that the relationship between executive and assistant typically looked something like that. Sure, it was a little exaggerated. But overall, I thought that being an assistant meant generally being walked on, taking abuse and getting the coffee. Of course, good sense then took over and I realized that the relationship shown in that movie (a wonderful, funny movie everyone should see!) was not a healthy, productive or appropriate one.

Many people still think of "executive assistants" and their role as something similar to what is seen in that movie - an underling who is so driven to get a "foot in the door" that they are willing to be stepped on and treated like dirt. Unfortunately, that's an image that's been around for a while and it may be hard to shake. But there's no reason any of us have to live up to that ridiculous representation. Neither executives nor their assistants should fall into the idea of thinking that their relationship is one of "master and servant". It most certainly is not. Below, I have outlined a few things the relationship should be.

Remember that when I refer to the relationship between executive and assistant, I am simply referring to any working relationship where one party supports the work of another party. The "assistant" could be called an administrative person, secretary, or any other title that indicates the role is supportive of one or many "executive(s)" - which could be managers, team leaders, supervisors, etc.

1. The relationship should be.....A Partnership

When you break it down, the sole duty of the assistant is to help the executive (and the business) succeed. In reality, most executives could not achieve their success without their loyal, hardworking assistants. Both parties must realize that they need each other. They are stronger as a team. They must both support each other and understand that they are a partnership. Just as the assistant supports the goals of the executive, the executive must know, understand and truly support those of the assistant. Ideally, their goals will work synergistically together, meaning that when one person achieves their goal it helps propel the other towards theirs and vice versa. Synergy is when the result is greater than the sum of the individual efforts. Together they both go further towards reaching their goals than either would separately. Understanding this critical fact is the essential foundation on which this relationship should be built.

2. The relationship should be....Mutually Respectful

Along with the understanding of the above described partnership, a mutual respect for one another is vital. This means, among other things, recognizing and appreciating one another's personal limitations, strengths, weaknesses, and abilities AND accepting these things without judgment. Respect means that you place value on them as a person. You consider everything about them - even their flaws - valuable. You don't yell, act rudely or criticize. Because you respect them, you try to resolve differences and problems in a productive way that preserves their worth and does not degrade them.

3. The relationship should be....Rewarding for Both Parties

The relationship must provide benefit for both the executive and the assistant. It can't simply be a one way street. As an assistant, you provide an enormous amount of benefit for the executive. However, it must go both ways. The position must benefit your personal goals and must meet your required expectations in terms of the salary, education, lifestyle and personal satisfaction it affords you. The benefit should not be one sided.

4. The relationship should be....Loyal and Trusting

Without trust and loyalty, the relationship will always falter. You both must be willing to stick it out. Day to day, things can get hectic. Situations can occur where you will need to stand up for one another. Because you are a team, it's important to know you each other's "back". Once that loyalty is in place, it is often a rock solid bond that causes executives to bring their assistant's with them wherever they go - a nice arrangement IF the relationship is right.

5. The relationship should be....Honest and Open

Communication is often the trickiest piece of the puzzle when it comes to the relationship. It's important that both parties keep the lines of communication wide open. Grievances and disagreements should be discussed and handled in an appropriate way. Question one another and get to know everything you can about your counterpart. Talk a lot. Don't hold back and certainly do not ever lie to one another. That will break the loyalty and trust that you both work so hard to maintain. Always communicate with respect for the partnership.